Daily Grace 14

:::

1. For landing a promotional job for a company that I am actually proud to stand behind. BlackFly coolers. Environmentally conscious, local based company (well ok, London but that's close) with natural ingredients and actually tastes awesome. Sweet.

2. G taking me out somewhere delicious for dinner last night where we canoodled in a booth and just chatted...having time apart is awesome cause being together again is that much sweeter.

3. For friends who add hours of new to us music on our ipods, giving us tons of entertainment on our car rides.."do you like this" "how about this" and rewinding to see if we can catch lyrics.

4. I am officially down 10lbs...which according to my journal puts me back to the weight I was at this time last year...so really am just a year behind in my weight loss scheme. I guess being in love made me hibernate with my sweetie all summer and fall...and start packing it on. I am feeling good and just need to resist the temptation to eat pizza pizza at 3am on weekends!!

5. For letting go. After the antics he pulled on Valentines day I have officially decided to no longer let my ex try to rule my life. If he wants to try to hurt me or get spousal support from me...fine, go for it. I just can't live my life worrying about the loser anymore. I believe in the power of positive thinking and I know that there is no way someone as miserable as him can really win in life. I refuse to let him when it comes to me!

Daily Grace 13

:::
1. For having the apartment to myself. G is on reading week and I have been able to watch all the shows I want to watch and to do my homework without feeling bummed that we aren't hanging out.
2. Knowing that after tonight I dont have the apartment to myself. I miss my beloved roomie oh so much. I think that these few days apart have been really good cause being able to miss someone reminds you not to take them for granted.
3. The end is in sight...well just to this term anyway. I am on week 9 and I know that week 13 is my term break, my actual full, no thinking about homeworking but trying to find ways to make money (anyone need a kidney?) week. I am sleeping in and refusing to stress!
4. The satisfaction of having a good cry yesterday. I know this may seem like a silly thing to feel grateful for, but I have been having stress building and building and low and behold, a good fall apart for about 20 minutes really got me back on track
5.Knowing that I am going to buy new socks and tea towels today. Foolish thing to look forward to? Perhaps. But looking at the holey socks and ragged tea towels I have been dealing with lately it gives me a smile knowing newness is on the horizon.

Daily Grace 12

:::1. For rocking out on a test I thought I failed...my first A+ 2. For randomly having some energy when I first got up this morning and using it to clean up before I left. 3. For the delightful coincidence of my Mum calling to ask me to grab some italian Roast from starbucks which I was actually in a starbucks. 4. G's flu/cold to be finally gone...I feel like I have my boyfriend back, I am not enamoured with the grumpy bear he becomes when he isn't feeling well. 5. For an awesome facebook message today from a friend I havent talked to in ages, telling me that she thinks I am wonderful. What a lovely thing to wake up to!

Growing up

:::
I feel I could reflect on such a topic for hours, pages even, but I think I could speak in general terms right now to get some things off my chest...

My grandfather can no longer take care of himself. And my grandmother can no longer help him. At 88 and 92 respectively I don't think it really is all that surprising to anyone, however it still seems so sudden to me. Last spring my grandfather was still farting around fixing things in his garage, being outdoors for hours gardening and cruising down the street in his old man go cart thing to grab the paper. Since the fall, he has deteriorated into a scared old man who can no longer remember how to get dressed and frequently recounts conversations he has had with friends who died in the war. At nearly 29 I do realize how lucky I am to have had him in my life so long, but now I want to be selfish and say it's still not long enough. I have spent hours with him asking questions about his childhood, the war, his life etc, but I am realizing that I have lost my window. I can no longer ask him those questions that I may have forgotten over the years. I cringe thinking of the times I rolled my eyes behind his back as he started retelling stories I had heard again and again over the years. I would pay anything to have him sit in the garden with me and explain to me about his first bicycle, and when he first laid eyes on my Nanny. (It was just after the war and she was wearing gorgeous red strappy heels...he was in deep smit from the start) and here I take after him as I begin to ramble....

This weekend my aunt and uncle from out west are coming to Ontario to say goodbye, the doctor thinking it will be soon, either his cancer or his dementia will kill him. He is just a sad shell of the man I have looked up to as my male role model for all my life. As he can't look after himself, my mum and her siblings have had to make the difficult decision to put him in a home. My mum is feeling so destroyed after having listened to her father beg her mother not to send him away. Just thinking about this makes my eyes burn. I wish there was something I could do so that such a lovely life isn't ended in such a sad, scared lonely way.

Daily Grace (11)

:::
1. For late Valentines presents that come on days like yesterday when I am grumpy, stressed out and randomly needing a card full of declarations of love. And for G for randomly paying attention to a necklace on etsy that I loved and only mentioned in passing.
2. For catch up emails from friends I miss. Random knowledge of those things we have been missing out on. Not as good as hanging out, but just for a brief moment being able to feel close again.
3. Kicking it...for being such an awesome friend, for being so brave and taking such huge leaps of faith this year. for being a friend that challenges me and is always there to talk me down from a ledge.
4. Winterlicious in Toronto....getting a great meal tonight at Kit Kat2 for $25.
5.The simple enjoyment I am getting out of knowing that I can have an extra hour of sleep in tomorrow! Starting class does mean ending class later, but good lord thank you for those extra 60minutes that will in fact make a world of difference come 7am

Daily Grace (9)

:::

1) Having friends over last night, playing Wii catching up and just really having a chilled out good time.

2) Knowing those friends were coming over thus creating intense motivation for G and I to clean the bajeezus out of our apartment. Living room and kitchen and bathroom look fab, my side of the bed is still a disaster as I have too many things for school and no where to put them...I either need a bigger apartment or a garbage bag ;)

3) For the absolutely gloriously warm and sunny day. Which is a miracle in itself on a February morning in Toronto.

4) Slowly but surely whittling down my pile of homework...and when I have a mild panic attack having my group of school buddies here to talk me down from the ledge.

5) All the free interior design magazines I got at the Interior Design Show. I love looking at checking out new ideas and concepts...Now I just need a few more hours in the day so I can actually read through them instead of just quickly looking at the pictures

Daily Grace (8)

:::
1) Having G tell me how much he love love loves me cause he is sick and grumpy and I am taking care of him.

2) For being online at the same time as my cousin who is currently living in Australia. We haven't got to chat in ages and I am loving catching up on all his Aussie escapades.

3) For having the time to sit at the new desktop and upload all the photos from the camera...a little behind lately...as in New Years eve is still stuck in my Nikon.

4) Spending time at the Interior Design Show today and realizing that going back to school for this was really really a great idea. I am feeling elated that there really is something out there for me that I can enjoy.

5) Finding out that G spent 30mins online today trying to get me Springsteen tickets. And telling me after he couldnt get them that no matter what we will go see if...if we have to spend too much money we dont have with a scalper, we are still going to see him. Sigh. Could i really do it? The two hottest men I know in one stadium in one night? that might be a lot for this girl to handle.

Friday I'm in love...

:::

Lately I feel like Friday's just aren't what they used to be. With all the school work I have my weeks just seem to blend into even longer weeks. Last night G and I went to our friend Meagan's house for dinner. It was the most delicious Mexican themed feast I have had pretty much ever. It was just so nice to sit for a while and pretend that I had nothing to do but be a friend, catch up on the life and times and eat! When we got home all motivation to get work done left me and now I am trying to get back on track today. I have a really hard time balancing between a social life and doing alright at school. When I am spending hours and hours each day doing school with knowing G is just hanging out, I get a bit resentful. And that bothers me. I made this choice to go back to school and I have no right to get frustrated that he has more time to relax than I do. However when I am just relaxing I start feeling guilty about the amount of work I should be doing. I need pointers on balancing my home and my school life.

Daily Grace (7)

:::

1) I had Korean Barbeque last night with my friend Jen. We hadn't seen each other in almost a year so we just sat across the bbq pit of a table, making dinner and catching up. It was great.

2) Crossing things off my list...off any list really. I have something in the area of 8 assignments due next week and yesterday Jacquie and I finished our presentation about glass. It feels so amazing to just cross that sucker off. G got me a bright red moleskin day planner for Christmas and I have honestly been adding things to my lists in there just for the pure joy of scratching them out. Is that mental?

3) Having friends who live so close. Our friend Derek needed a screw driver so just walked down the street to our apartment, ended up with an impromptu beer visit session. Was really nice to have unexpected company.

4) This morning I found the installation disk for our printer...now I will be able to print things off the new desktop and not just my broken down laptop. SUCH a great development

5) Learning this morning via text message that I might be eligible for an additional school loan. While it's not as awesome as winning money I don't have to pay back....it will still help me with the constant day to day financial stress at the moment.

to homework or not?

:::

I have to do a presentation in my Materials class next week. It's on glass. Sort of a dry topic...well I am sure in actuality there are lots of fun and facinating facts about glass I could uncover and impart upon my classmates, but I just don't waaaaannnaaaaa. (I could be the queen whiner today)

Toronto is freezing. I havent been outside yet today but I can feel the icy air sneaking in through the door to my patio and it's reminding me to go put socks on. I have the week off school, it's a project week, time to get as much of the insane amount of midterm work done as possible. Problem being there is no motivation. I am enjoying sitting with my laptop, I just want to play on photoshop, or continue to read blogs. Other peoples lives are facinating. It's much more interesting than learning how one would make sand blasted glass. Later this morning one of my friends is coming to pick me up so we can go out and get samples of said glass. I am wondering if it would be unprofessional of me to show up at designer warehouses in track pants...

Daily Grace (6)

:::
1. For the simple enjoyment I get watching movies about vampires and lycans.

2. The pleasure I recieved from a week spent in anticipation for dinner this evening with Jen. I havent seen her in over a year

3. Having the motivation to get my apartment in visitor ready condition

4. Having located my vinyl anthology of Beatles...giving me day dreams of expanding my record collection

5. My Tassimo refils from Loblaws. A homemade cappuccino does wonders to my budget!

Small Accomplishments

:::

Last night after G's birthday dinner I should have stayed up and done homework. Instead I decided that crawling into bed with him and my red wine teeth was a better option. I swore that I would get up early and get a start on my work. Alarm went off at 6 and for once I actually just hopped up out of bed and got down to it. I have had a nice cup of tea, eaten some oatmeal (brain food I have been told) and actually got work done. It may seem ridiculous, but being able to get up and not somehow rationalize more sleep really makes me proud of myself. Proud enough to take a work break and blog haha.

Daily Grace (5)

:::
1. Being up early enough to make breakfast, do work, and log into computer unlike the usual rush to get ready and get to school.
2. Finding a new delicious restaurant and getting to share it with friends.
3. Volunteer hours I can do with friends. Said hours count towards our degrees.
4. The cat shaped tea cozy Michele's mum made me.
5. Listening to G talk about something random in his sleep while I type.

Daily Grace (4)

:::
1. For getting to celebrate G's birthday with him...for waking up beside him and going to bed with him.
2. For snail mail...I am planning on sending some this week...is it selfish I am ever hopeful to get some in return?
3. That moment in the morning, just after I hit snooze for the first time, when I roll over and bury my face in G's back...it's always soft, warm, and just what I imagine heaven would smell like.
4. Getting a phone call from my 92 year old Nanny, telling me she was a huge fan of my cheap-o red wine selection.
5. Being exhausted in an honest fashion, and still feeling motivated to hop on the computer and give thanks

Daily Grace (3)

:::
1. Singing Dust on the Bottle with my brother while we make his batch of superbowl chili this morning
2. For new polka dotted coffee mugs from the dollar store.
3. Deciding to have a mimosa this morning cause hey why not

4. Having made 8 Valentines Cards to send to some friends

5. Today being the perfect Ontario winter day.