Friday, April 30, 2010

Our lady of perpetual exhaustion

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Working, school, and internship. I also took a design job outside of that and am babysitting for extra cash. I'm beat! I think it will give me some motivation to get work done when I can, and maybe relish my down time a lot more. However am trying to enjoy downtime by reading in bed, but it seems one of my neighbours is having some kind of musical interlude in their apartment. Can hear guitar and vocals, just can't tell from which apartment. Not to sound like a grandma, but its after 11 people, shut it!
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Thursday, April 22, 2010

And on and on

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Work has been going pretty well. I forgot how exhausting retail can be, a students life tends to not have me on my feet for 8 hours at a time! But I'm feeling good that I am bringing in even a little bit of money at the moment. I had to buy a pair of shoes as they want us to wear shoes from the store, but I have managed to keep it to one pair! I do have my eyes on a few others but I keep reminding myself that I really do have all I need. I tend to wear my silver birks almost everywhere anyway haha. Things keep going back and forth between looking up and then freaking us out. We got a pretty good tax return, but it all has to go to bills etc so its not really fun. However, we should be thankful some extra cash came our way for such a thing! G and I discuss sometimes how it feels like we are standing in a very deep hole. As we slowly start digging out of it something caves in and we are back where we started. We both have large student loans and its easy to get bogged down with just how long it will take to pay back. Yesterday he made mention of how he feels overwhelmed just trying to pay his own way right now he can't imagine what it will be like trying to afford to have a baby. (*sidenote yay he thinks about babies now!) but it is true, when you're in the middle of it it's hard to see how one day it will be different. School is over in December and then I can start working and making more than minimum wage and we can hopefully start seeing the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel
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Friday, April 16, 2010

Reflecting at Timmies

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Am sitting at a Tim Hortons in Brampton waiting for G to come pick me up. Looking out the window I can see a group of about 5 teenagers. Smoking and preening, saying something and looking to the others for approval before they start to laugh again. I remember those days really well, wanting to fit in, and loitering with my friends. Did we really have nothing better to do than drink coffee after coffee and smoke? I feel that it was barely last year I was in highschool but with 30 on the horizon this summer, it was 11 years ago that I was a teenager. It feels strange that I still easily recognize that part of me. That I could go outside and bum a smoke from those kids feeling like I can still identify when really I am so far removed. Another lifetime away really
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Perfection


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My best friend had a baby on Wednesday morning and I am in love. Not just like "aww cute baby" love, but the aching that I am away from her love. I was really blessed in that I was able to meet her when she was just an hour old. Never in my life have I seen something so perfect. She was only 6 and a half lbs so she was honestly smaller than the purse I had with me that day. I found it funny that I could love something so much that I just met. I felt really emotional Wednesday night I think just from being close to something to special. It really got me thinking more about my future and how much I look forward to being a mum. Seeing my best friend in pain really was hard, but seeing her perfect little girl really makes you understand how worth it everything in life is. It made me understand how everything in my life is slowly moving me towards that point. I know that G and I aren't ready yet, but it makes me really look forward to the day when it is us bringing home a little someone from the hospital.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Self control

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Today I start work at a shoe store. And its a gorgeous store, with many brands of shoes that I adore, and I get an amazing discount. Soooo this poses a problem as I LOVE shoes, love them!!! G was joking that I should leave my wallet at home lest I come back at the end of today having spent more than I earned. I have been trying to make 2010 the year of living frugally. Its a time to get out of debt and only be spending money on things that are needed not wanted. A distinction I have spent a lot of time and money understanding. So, here I go, into the lions den if you will, let's see how I fair shall we?
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Friday, April 2, 2010

Daily Grace

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1. Babysitting my favourite 2 year old
2. Cadbury Mini Eggs
3. Perogies
4. 5 for $25 at La Senza
5. Lunch out with my nanny
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