Yesterday I had my first 'history of modern furniture' lecture. It was a really good class from a very interesting teacher. Part way through class I started feeling really anxious...In case you haven't noticed I am a chronic self doubter. I tend to question my abilities on pretty much a daily basis. And so as I was listening to my teacher I started to panic with all the work that we have to do (for example in this class, we have to build a to scale fully functional chair out of cardboard. eep) My teacher then went on a tangent that I felt was directed at me (obviously it wasn't but it just felt so fated at that moment) He said that he once had a professor tell him that when things come easy to you you aren't actually learning. That fear you feel in your stomach when you are doing something you are unsure about, something that scares you...that is in fact when you start to learn. I found that SO unbelievably encouraging as I question myself and panic all the time with this program. I do notice some of my fellow students seem to get As with no effort and that they can tackle anything that is thrown at them without a sense of worry. So, now I am choosing to say thanks. Thanks for the fear cause maybe that just does in fact mean that I am learning...heaven knows I have a ton to learn!
This weekend is Thanksgiving. I really need to think about all the amazing things I have in my life to be thankful for. And there is a lot. I am excited to get the long weekend started extra early tonight! I am babysitting for a few hours and my Mum is coming down to pick me up late night. So, I am starting the weekend off being thankful for my Mum. For her loving to spend time with me so much that she is driving down to Toronto to pick me up at 10pm, for getting to wake up in her house tomorrow, a place I feel that is my home, to have coffee made perfectly as only she can and to get to spend the day getting ready for our special family dinner. Thank you thank you thank you