Friday, November 5, 2010

Moving forward

I have always been the type of person who regularly fears change. There have been many times in my life where I have prayed that things would just stay the same so I could savour the moment that much longer. After I left the States and moved back to Canada, I lived with my mum and that first summer my brothers were both living at home too. It was a strange moment to be back together, just the four of us. It seemed like it had always been the four of us, then Garry and my mum fell in love and we became 5 again. After he passed away it was so strange to go back to 4. Despite the craziness of the summer of 2007, I was so happy. My mum had moved into a smaller house so for a while my bedroom was a bed in the laundry room, but we were all there and I was happy. We hadn't lived in the same house since 1999. I remember mum and I having coffee one morning on the deck talking about how everything would change again soon, the boys and I would move out and move on...and I didn't want to. I wanted to stay in that moment of total security. Once again living as a family and feeling like I didn't have to make any big decisions.
Little did I know that a few months later I would meet back up with G and we would fall in love. Moving to the city together May 2008...
Everything has changed since then and I am ok with it. I love it actually. I am crazy in love, loving my career and looking forward with new goals in mind. And yet...a part of me wants to freeze this time too. We are in love, we don't have anything to worry about but each other, and I am in school. I think that me being in school has been a safety net the past 2 years cause I haven't had to decide anything. Career, where we want to live when I graduate....and now that the end of school is so close, I want to freeze this moment just a little longer so I can stay here where its safe before moving to territories unknown.

Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
Envoyé sans fil par mon terminal mobile BlackBerry sur le réseau de Bell.

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