:::
1. For landing a promotional job for a company that I am actually proud to stand behind. BlackFly coolers. Environmentally conscious, local based company (well ok, London but that's close) with natural ingredients and actually tastes awesome. Sweet.
2. G taking me out somewhere delicious for dinner last night where we canoodled in a booth and just chatted...having time apart is awesome cause being together again is that much sweeter.
3. For friends who add hours of new to us music on our ipods, giving us tons of entertainment on our car rides.."do you like this" "how about this" and rewinding to see if we can catch lyrics.
4. I am officially down 10lbs...which according to my journal puts me back to the weight I was at this time last year...so really am just a year behind in my weight loss scheme. I guess being in love made me hibernate with my sweetie all summer and fall...and start packing it on. I am feeling good and just need to resist the temptation to eat pizza pizza at 3am on weekends!!
5. For letting go. After the antics he pulled on Valentines day I have officially decided to no longer let my ex try to rule my life. If he wants to try to hurt me or get spousal support from me...fine, go for it. I just can't live my life worrying about the loser anymore. I believe in the power of positive thinking and I know that there is no way someone as miserable as him can really win in life. I refuse to let him when it comes to me!
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Daily Grace 13
:::
1. For having the apartment to myself. G is on reading week and I have been able to watch all the shows I want to watch and to do my homework without feeling bummed that we aren't hanging out.
2. Knowing that after tonight I dont have the apartment to myself. I miss my beloved roomie oh so much. I think that these few days apart have been really good cause being able to miss someone reminds you not to take them for granted.
3. The end is in sight...well just to this term anyway. I am on week 9 and I know that week 13 is my term break, my actual full, no thinking about homeworking but trying to find ways to make money (anyone need a kidney?) week. I am sleeping in and refusing to stress!
4. The satisfaction of having a good cry yesterday. I know this may seem like a silly thing to feel grateful for, but I have been having stress building and building and low and behold, a good fall apart for about 20 minutes really got me back on track
5.Knowing that I am going to buy new socks and tea towels today. Foolish thing to look forward to? Perhaps. But looking at the holey socks and ragged tea towels I have been dealing with lately it gives me a smile knowing newness is on the horizon.
1. For having the apartment to myself. G is on reading week and I have been able to watch all the shows I want to watch and to do my homework without feeling bummed that we aren't hanging out.
2. Knowing that after tonight I dont have the apartment to myself. I miss my beloved roomie oh so much. I think that these few days apart have been really good cause being able to miss someone reminds you not to take them for granted.
3. The end is in sight...well just to this term anyway. I am on week 9 and I know that week 13 is my term break, my actual full, no thinking about homeworking but trying to find ways to make money (anyone need a kidney?) week. I am sleeping in and refusing to stress!
4. The satisfaction of having a good cry yesterday. I know this may seem like a silly thing to feel grateful for, but I have been having stress building and building and low and behold, a good fall apart for about 20 minutes really got me back on track
5.Knowing that I am going to buy new socks and tea towels today. Foolish thing to look forward to? Perhaps. But looking at the holey socks and ragged tea towels I have been dealing with lately it gives me a smile knowing newness is on the horizon.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Daily Grace 12
:::1. For rocking out on a test I thought I failed...my first A+ 2. For randomly having some energy when I first got up this morning and using it to clean up before I left. 3. For the delightful coincidence of my Mum calling to ask me to grab some italian Roast from starbucks which I was actually in a starbucks. 4. G's flu/cold to be finally gone...I feel like I have my boyfriend back, I am not enamoured with the grumpy bear he becomes when he isn't feeling well. 5. For an awesome facebook message today from a friend I havent talked to in ages, telling me that she thinks I am wonderful. What a lovely thing to wake up to!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Growing up
:::
I feel I could reflect on such a topic for hours, pages even, but I think I could speak in general terms right now to get some things off my chest...
I feel I could reflect on such a topic for hours, pages even, but I think I could speak in general terms right now to get some things off my chest...
My grandfather can no longer take care of himself. And my grandmother can no longer help him. At 88 and 92 respectively I don't think it really is all that surprising to anyone, however it still seems so sudden to me. Last spring my grandfather was still farting around fixing things in his garage, being outdoors for hours gardening and cruising down the street in his old man go cart thing to grab the paper. Since the fall, he has deteriorated into a scared old man who can no longer remember how to get dressed and frequently recounts conversations he has had with friends who died in the war. At nearly 29 I do realize how lucky I am to have had him in my life so long, but now I want to be selfish and say it's still not long enough. I have spent hours with him asking questions about his childhood, the war, his life etc, but I am realizing that I have lost my window. I can no longer ask him those questions that I may have forgotten over the years. I cringe thinking of the times I rolled my eyes behind his back as he started retelling stories I had heard again and again over the years. I would pay anything to have him sit in the garden with me and explain to me about his first bicycle, and when he first laid eyes on my Nanny. (It was just after the war and she was wearing gorgeous red strappy heels...he was in deep smit from the start) and here I take after him as I begin to ramble....
This weekend my aunt and uncle from out west are coming to Ontario to say goodbye, the doctor thinking it will be soon, either his cancer or his dementia will kill him. He is just a sad shell of the man I have looked up to as my male role model for all my life. As he can't look after himself, my mum and her siblings have had to make the difficult decision to put him in a home. My mum is feeling so destroyed after having listened to her father beg her mother not to send him away. Just thinking about this makes my eyes burn. I wish there was something I could do so that such a lovely life isn't ended in such a sad, scared lonely way.
This weekend my aunt and uncle from out west are coming to Ontario to say goodbye, the doctor thinking it will be soon, either his cancer or his dementia will kill him. He is just a sad shell of the man I have looked up to as my male role model for all my life. As he can't look after himself, my mum and her siblings have had to make the difficult decision to put him in a home. My mum is feeling so destroyed after having listened to her father beg her mother not to send him away. Just thinking about this makes my eyes burn. I wish there was something I could do so that such a lovely life isn't ended in such a sad, scared lonely way.
Daily Grace (11)
:::
1. For late Valentines presents that come on days like yesterday when I am grumpy, stressed out and randomly needing a card full of declarations of love. And for G for randomly paying attention to a necklace on etsy that I loved and only mentioned in passing.
2. For catch up emails from friends I miss. Random knowledge of those things we have been missing out on. Not as good as hanging out, but just for a brief moment being able to feel close again.
3. Kicking it...for being such an awesome friend, for being so brave and taking such huge leaps of faith this year. for being a friend that challenges me and is always there to talk me down from a ledge.
4. Winterlicious in Toronto....getting a great meal tonight at Kit Kat2 for $25.
5.The simple enjoyment I am getting out of knowing that I can have an extra hour of sleep in tomorrow! Starting class does mean ending class later, but good lord thank you for those extra 60minutes that will in fact make a world of difference come 7am
1. For late Valentines presents that come on days like yesterday when I am grumpy, stressed out and randomly needing a card full of declarations of love. And for G for randomly paying attention to a necklace on etsy that I loved and only mentioned in passing.
2. For catch up emails from friends I miss. Random knowledge of those things we have been missing out on. Not as good as hanging out, but just for a brief moment being able to feel close again.
3. Kicking it...for being such an awesome friend, for being so brave and taking such huge leaps of faith this year. for being a friend that challenges me and is always there to talk me down from a ledge.
4. Winterlicious in Toronto....getting a great meal tonight at Kit Kat2 for $25.
5.The simple enjoyment I am getting out of knowing that I can have an extra hour of sleep in tomorrow! Starting class does mean ending class later, but good lord thank you for those extra 60minutes that will in fact make a world of difference come 7am
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