Thursday, September 16, 2010

Once upon a time...

...late 2005- I had an old Blog. I stopped using it when I moved back to Canada as my ex knew the address and started leaving rude comments on it. Apparently I also had WAY more free time as I used to Blog more often. Yesterday I was taking a break at school (read totally procrastinating on an assignment I'm hating) and I went back to check it out. I haven't looked at it since 2007, so it was kind of interesting to read back through and see a different view of myself in my mid 20s. It was interesting to read entries and realize how I wasn't being honest with the internet...some readers I actually knew and some total strangers...I was so desperately unhappy and struggling, my marriage was not a happy one and I was so lonely, and yet I couldn't really talk about it. I was lying to myself and to my Blog. I alluded to my obvious depression stemming from the loss of my step dad but I couldn't speak freely about my marriage. Perhaps that's why I didn't really tell friends about this Blog. G thinks I may have a Blog but hasn't asked further about it. And one thing I admire about other bloggers is there no filter, the way they just put it all out there. It seems so freeing. Yet at the Same time I worry. I wouldn't want to be responsible for hurting someones feelings-but I think I want to be more honest with myself and with others about stuff in my life. It seems more monumental than blabbing on about inane drivel which is all I contribute to Blogger most times.

Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
Envoyé sans fil par mon terminal mobile BlackBerry sur le réseau de Bell.

1 comment:

TinyByNature said...

That's a tough one. I am in a similar position, but decided to take the stance that this was my world, these were my feelings and if people couldn't deal then they could opt to not read. Its a hard call, but in the end it is "freeing" as you say to put all your feelings, thoughts and emotions out there. And sometimes, people surprise you. Its like an emotional garbage dump. Once its out there its like a massive weight has been lifted. But also, once its out there its true ... for me that the hardest part. Saying things out loud make them real. SCARY!