Wednesday, January 16, 2008



I have had lofty aspirations of being single. I have been so excited to move on, to not be living at home and to get to have the solitude I desire. I've been housesitting since Sunday and I have had a lot of alone time. I don't really know why I crave it so much cause when it is silent I feel lonely. I hate that...I really do. I keep being told that I need to learn to be happy with myself before I can be happy with anyone else. Or be happy in my life. And I can throw the word 'happy' around a ton. yeesh. I don't know what I am scared of in the quiet. I think I should relish this time that I can be alone. But I think I get depressed. Just me and the giant dog I am taking care of...and all I can think about is the boy I am crazy for. I doubt that is the point of inner reflection; to be counting down til I see him again and can smooch him. oh man.

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