Holy smokes

One more sleep!! How did that happen? I'm sitting in my mums kitchen my two oldest girlfriends having a glass of wine...can't believe it's tomorrow. Off to bed soon!!!

Changing Perspective

Garret and I have lived together for over 4 years now, and been dating for close to 5.  We share a bank account, vehicles, a house and now a history. He is my person.

I had wanted to get married, but I really didn't think that I would feel any different.  Technically we have been living as husband and wife, and would saying our "I dos" change that?  I didn't think so.  However, the closer we have come to reaching our wedding day I feel the enormity of what we are committing to.  I guess I can't really explain it because I have felt committed to him all this time, but just somehow, vowing in front of our friends and family that we will love and cherish each other forever just seems to make things a bigger deal.  We have been giggling with each other for the past few weeks, referring to each other as "almost husband" and "almost wife"  Somehow I feel that in 5 days it will be really surreal for us to be "actual husband" and "actual wife"  It has been lovely having such a long engagement, we have got to enjoy this stage together...but it just made our wedding feel so far away. I can honestly say that as I am writing this I feel total disbelief regarding our wedding being in Saturday. Surely it is still a few more months away?  I have to say though that I am really happy that I am feeling more excited about the change that is to take place in our lives. I know that even when he is my husband he will still never do the dishes, and he knows that I will still never pull my hair out of the drain...we know that things won't change between us, yet in another way everything will change. How awesome.

I'm nervous already!

This is it people...

Not you again

Does everyone remember how traumatized I was by this?  Just to be clear I am still not over it...I can now ad "hyper bug vigilance" to my list of hard skills on my resume.  (very marketable skill in the interior design field let me tell you)

I was feeling a bit stressy the other night and thought I would go upstairs and just have a nice relaxing shower before bed.  Can you tell where this is heading?  I pulled back the curtain and was greeted with this:

[caption id="attachment_906" align="aligncenter" width="525"] "My name is Inigo "the spider" Montoya you killed my father...prepare to die"[/caption]

So with my well honed fight or flight defences I screamed and G came and killed it.  It's funny how I can manufacture killing courage when I am home alone, but if Garret is in the house, he is SO going to kill the bugs.  I feel a bit stupid actually that I feel this way, but I am learning to love and accept myself the way I am..scaredy cat genes and all!

Rookie Mistake

I have tried to remain a very calm and chillax bride.  I know that the whole point of the day is to celebrate our marriage and that at the end of the day we will be married. Chocolate fountain or not (definitely not)  As it gets closer though I have started to feel a little more nervous about the logistics and all the last minute details.  I think that I worked pretty hard at getting as much done ahead of time as possible, but some items have just taken longer to come together than others.  I've been having a long insane week at work and in a moment of stupidity I decided to check the weather for next Saturday. And as of this moment...it looks like rain. barf.  I know its not the end of the world by any stretch of the imagination, however, no bride ever thinks "goodie cause it means good luck" when they hear rain on wedding day forecast.  It's funny though because the fact that the weather might not be anything other than perfect hadn't occurred to me until last week. It suddenly came to me when we were discussing having the cocktails before dinner outside. I dont want to have a rain contingency plan...so....let's just not rain shall we?

My bachelorette party is this Saturday night so I feel that my girlfriends will hopefully do a good job of getting me sauced enough to not think of rain, but not too much that I am hungover for the whole week before the wedding. Girls you have your work cut out for you!

Meanwhile today at work...

Ghosts of Boyfriends Past

Ages ago someone told me that right before they got married they started having lots of dreams about their ex boyfriends.  I wish I could remember who it was because I scoffed and failed to think that would happen to me...however, the past week many a past boyfriend, crush and even Justin Bieber (weird right? I know..clearly no dating history there)  I mentioned this to a few of my friends and they had the same thing.  It's funny what your subconscious holds on to, I have been dreaming about one of my childhood crushes, and a few guys I went on just a few dates with in high school...people who haven't occupied my conscious thoughts in over a decade are now becoming all consuming in my sleep.

Eeek