At the end of last week I found out that my ex is trying to extort money from me in exchange for him signing our divorce papers. It was a bad day. As I have said before I am not in a rush to get married or what have you, but I really want him out of my life forever. No more mention, no more thought just gone. Thurs, Fri and Sat just made me angry, frustrated, poisonous. I HATE feeling that way. I composed a letter addressed to all of D's friends...about who he really is, about what he has tried to do to me. But instead of sending it to them, I sent it to my friend nicole. She is a compass of sanity and threw it back to me, making me feel so much better. It was great to get that letter out of me, to have it stop mulling around in my head. Today I woke up feeling refreshed. Someone new. G and I cleaned and cleaned and cleaned...and we STILL have more to do, but it felt good to start getting our place is order. (Start is a funny word as we have lived here for ages, but we just got a new hutch for storage so we kinda had stuff all over the place) My brother Elliott stopped by for a visit which was nice, and all of a sudden I just felt loved. I felt complete, happy and loved. and I know that even if D gets a moral victory (ie ill deserved money from me) in this divorce, no matter what I have won. I have an amazing family I am really close with, a phenomenal deep relationship with a fabulous partner, supportive and hilarious friends, babies that are coming into my life (my goddaughter Alexis, am working towards a career I am passionate about:happiness abounds.
I need to just realize the love and happiness that surrounds me, and be thankful....move forward and realize that just cause all this isn't happening in the time frame that I think is best, doesn't mean that the universe isn't providing for me in the way it is supposed to.